So You Got a Cat: A Beginner’s Guide to Being Owned, Ignored, and Judged

Written by a Cat (Reluctantly). Edited by Someone Who Pays for the Food.So you got a cat. Congratulations. You are no longer in charge.This book is your guide to feline behavior, cat communication, and the deeply unequal relationship you just signed up for — explained entirely by the cat in question.Why does your cat ignore you when called? Why is the belly a trap? What does the tail actually mean when it's twitching? What's happening at 3 AM, and why does it involve the hallway specifically? This funny, witty, and surprisingly useful book answers all of it — from the cat's perspective, with practical Editor's Notes that translate the cat's logic into real, honest pet care advice.Twenty hilarious chapters cover the behaviors that baffle every new cat owner:Cat body language — the slow blink, the tail position, the belly display, and what you keep getting wrongCat communication — a full meow dictionary, because "meow" is not one soundFeline behavior decoded — zoomies, door obsessions, knocking things over, and the 3 AM announcement policyCat ownership realities — affection on their terms, the furniture situation, and why your expensive toys lost to a cardboard boxPerfect for:First-time cat owners who need real answers wrapped in humorAnyone who suspects their cat is judging them (they are)Animal lovers who want an entertaining read with actual insightA funny, thoughtful gift for anyone who just adopted a catBy the end of this book, you won't have control over your cat. But you'll finally understand them.And honestly? That's the best outcome you can hope for. Read more